Toasting the U.S. holiday melting pot

I love America and the melting pot of justifications I have to choose from for drinking on a Monday evening in May.

In the United States, no matter what nationality you are or where your ancestors came from, you can drink green beer or down cervezas until you can't stand, when the appropriate holiday presents itself.

I'll be the first to admit that I look for any excuse to socialize, and living in the good ol' U. S. of A., there are endless holidays, seasons, and reasons to knock a few back.

Those posters of the 365 days of drinking aren't lying when they say there's a reason to drink every day of the year. Some may groan at the growing problem of immigration, but truth be told, most of us are immigrants or the descendants of immigrants in the United States and we can take pride in our diverse culture and the way it celebrates holidays that aren't quite ours. We feel we can invite ourselves to the party, no matter what the celebration.

Fourth o' July just wasn't enough for us greedy Americans. We want to drink January 1 all the way until December 31, and then start all over again. It probably doesn't help that those greeting card holidays like Valentine's Day give us excuses to drink. Either we're depressed because we have no one to cuddle, or we want to make it less awkward so we drink anyway. I'm telling you, there's always an excuse to have a drink.

The United States is really no different from other countries. I lived in England for half a year, and that culture is much like ours. They have an obscure, random holiday in which they shoot off fireworks, burn edifices and drink ale the entire time. It's November 5, Guy Fawkes Day, look it up if you don't believe me.

Understandably these holidays are not all centered around getting drunk. It's just comical to me that many Americans don't even know why they're celebrating a particular holiday. It's true that other countries are more cultured and more knowledgeable about the United States than we are of them. History and civics classes teach American children that the Fourth of July marks the United States's independence from British rule. But do Americans know what Cinco de Mayo, St. Patrick's Day or Halloween really celebrate?

For quick reference, I'll tell you the reasons why the non-Mexican, non-Irish and pagans, find themselves comfortably inebriated at their local bar every March 17, May 5 and Oct. 31.

Consulting Wikipedia, one finds that "the holiday (Cinco de Mayo) commemorates an initial victory of Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín over French forces in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. The date is observed in the United States and other locations around the world as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride. A common misconception in the United States is that Cinco de Mayo is Mexico's Independence Day; Mexican Independence Day is actually September 16, which is the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico." Many Americans don't realize the last bit of truth about Mexican Independence Day and run around like uneducated morons through the streets on the fifth of May shouting "Viva Mexico!" I could go off on a whole other tangent about the ignorance of some, but why rain on someone's parade?

Moving on to other national excuses for a few more shots we find, "Saint Patrick's Day is an annual feast day which celebrates Saint Patrick (circa 385-461 AD), one of the patron saints of Ireland, and is generally celebrated on March 17." Wikipedia goes on to say that it is a widely-celebrated holiday in North America but is not a national holiday. It is celebrated by wearing the colors green and orange and "eating Irish food and/or green foods, imbibing Irish drink and attending parades." Technically I'm not Irish but, once a year like every other American, I can pretend.

This brings us to the justification for dressing up as naughty nurses and Freddy Krueger. Relying once more on that front of modern wisdom, and heretofore unrealized source for nationwide drinking games - Wikipedia - we find revealed that "The modern holiday of Halloween may have its origins in the ancient Celtic festival known as Samhain."

"The festival of Samhain is a celebration of the end of the harvest season in Gaelic culture, and is sometimes erroneously regarded as the 'Celtic New Year.' Traditionally, the festival was a time used by the ancient pagans to take stock of supplies and slaughter livestock for winter stores. The festivals would frequently involve bonfires, where the bones of slaughtered livestock were thrown. Costumes and masks were also worn at the festivals in an attempt to mimic the evil spirits or placate them." I grew up on something like a farm, so I can relate to this holiday.

So what though, if the "farm" I grew up on is nothing like those old Gaelic farms? I'm not of Mexican or Irish descent either. I did, however, get drunk and celebrate a holiday that I have no knowledge of on a Monday night. Who else was with me?