Top Ten Worst Ring Tones

With work, school, family and friends, I understand the necessity of a cell phone. It seems having a cell phone has become a basic need for college students, essential for survival. How else would you get money from dad to replenish your funds between classes when you've got free time?

While owning a cell phone may seem unavoidable for a college student, it may cost more than money. You may find your grades slipping when your pierced-mouth professor kicks you out of class during a final as AC/DC suddenly become your theme music to doom.

But even more horrid would be the humility that comes with some unfortunate choices of ring tones. You're always sure to impress your Ethics professor with a sound clip of "My Humps" to accompany the lecture on Immanuel Kant.

Which is why, through personal experience, My Humps has been rated number ten on my list of worst cell jingles.

#10: Black Eyed Peas; My Humps.

#9: Anything MIDI. While these tunes may be less expensive, and college students love less expensive (at least our parents do), elevator music should remain in the elevator.

#8: Using the network jingle as your ringtone. We all hear it enough on the boob tube, and they do not need the free advertisement.

#7: Oh-so cheery holiday music. If you're like me and you work as well as attend school than you know the horror of the holiday season. I have nothing against Frosty, but after listening to "Winter Wonder Land" at work all day long, I wholeheartedly consider some serious snowman-ocide. So keep Frosty off your cell and I won't be digging out any little coal eyes and carrot noses this winter.

#6: Holiday music after holiday season. It's cute when my Grandmother does it, not my peers.

#5: Anything with profanity. If you're going to humiliate yourself enough to have lyrics like, 'I want to you-know-what like an animal,' at least get the censored version. Anything less is just asking for it.

#4: Anything that is sure not to get you the ladies, or the fellows. I.E comic book theme songs or Pokemon.

#3: Voice clips of annoying people yelling "Pick up the phone!" It's bothersome in itself to hear the phrase repeated several times, much less by everyone's favorite Dr. Phil. #2: Most people adore Sir Mixalot and revel in his poetic genius but, I've been told, it just doesn't look good to show these tunes to teachers, or possible employers.

#1: "I touch myself."

If you do that you'll go blind! I wish I would go deaf. The humility for someone who, for some unfathomable reason, decided to have a titillating tone like "I touch myself" is too much to bear. Yeah, they get embarrassed out of their minds but they embarrass everyone else around them too. And if you're the culprit you need to know that it's not like a funky smell you can play off with a glare at the guy next to you. Everyone knows it's definitely coming out of your pants. Any song detailing self satisfaction, not in the academic sense, is just… why?